#i have biases i wont pretend i dont

[gretahayes]

If a character is black and queer (or just black tbh) I'll always be on their side I'm sorry

[trainingdummyrabbit]

I always see a ton of Pokemon AUs for Demon Slayer, but I never see any Digimon AUs! For the AU ask if you're still taking them

. okok iam Absolutely still taking these and ill do my best but anon this is a really funny ask because i. do have a mini digimon au. like its ridiculously self-indulgent and tiny but. getting this was like a kick in the shins (affectionate) WAHAHAHA

so!! i hope you dont mind if this is very blatantly biased, but its certainly a starting point! as well, i havent really interacted w/ digimon since watching the anime years ago + playing world dusk and championship a while ago, so i wont have as much knowledge to pick from as i would other things! with the disclaimers out of the way...!

...hey what if we isekai'd the tokitwins? (post-writing edit: this ended up over 2k words long. This Is A Warning.)

so, you've been oh-so-luckily chosen to be digidestined and whisked away to an unfamiliar world where just about Everything wants to kill you, you have No way to contact your own world, and you have No idea how to get back. great! cool! excellent!

introducing our funny little guys of the week: yuichiro and muichiro tokito! just them for now, before i scope-creep myself to death. but, that aside, you can't be digidestined without a funny little digital partner of your own! so, introducing:

-Patamon, Muichiro's partner! an observant yet skittish little thing that never tends to stray far from its partner. it takes its job very seriously, oftentimes coming across as a bit fussy. even so, it is very easily overwhelmed and may need encouragement to press on. as well, it also tends to take things at face value more often than not, making it very earnest but Very gullible. -DemiDevimon, Yuichiro's partner! a mischeivous little thing that rarely seems to take things very seriously. its defiant and a bit self-centered, and honestly at times seems to genuinely only stick around the twins because theyre entertaining to mess with. it's here for a good time and Nothing Else. despite its yapping, it does occasionally let a bit of protectiveness slip through-- always fiercely sticking by them despite its nigh-constant complaints about how it wants to leave.

this ragtag group of four must make their way across the digital world to find a way back home-- and hopefully remain alive in the process. in such an unfamiliar and dangerous world, however, problems are sure to arise.

the twins, of course, stick together-- but more and more often, their desires and personalities begin to clash in ways that make it more difficult to progress. it's easy to keep your head low and follow along, but just how long can you really take that-- how long can you pretend it's okay? it's easy to keep a brave face, but there's only so much you can do with what you have-- and what you convince yourself that you don't. there's only so long you can stay in such a high-pressure environment before something begins to break.

throughout their journey, they'll discover more outlandish and mystifying places, meet more new faces, and uncover strange secrets-- what's the connection between their digimon partners? how did they get sent to the digital world in the first place? and most importantly: why does this world seem to already recognize them?

///

with that out of the way... time for the fiddly bits.

the twins have an arc with each other much alike the one they get in canon-- but pressed a bit further. the two learn to stand their ground, speak their mind-- and ultimately, learn to really, truly trust one another.

yui oftentimes takes the lead, and tends to do a better job keeping everything in order-- but... he's still just a kid. a kid that cares deeply for his brother, and would do anything to keep him safe. but in a world like this, there's not much that he Can do. so he plays the part as best he can-- even if it means that he has to make hard choices.

mui, on the other hand, wants desperately to be able to help-- he slowly starts getting bolder and more forward, away from that more shy personality he'd been known to have. of course it was more dangerous. of course they didn't know what would happen next. but he would never forgive himself if he just did Nothing.

at its core, the two begin to actually almost switch places through their arc-- mui becoming more active and yui more passive-- as they make their way forward and sort themselves (and each other) out.

and of course: their partners have a whole Thing(tm) going on too! with the twins And between each other.

mui+pata are like odd little peas in a pod, oftentimes found staring at something or other with their big ol owly eyes, going back and forth over this-and-that about it in a way that makes sense to nobody but them. pata knows more about the world and where they might be going, but mui is a bit of an emotional rock for it-- providing encouragement and talking it through any roadblocks it may have come across. theyre odd little enablers! at least, when pata isn't pulling mui's hair over the fact that theyre going the wrong way, they went the wrong way we have to go that way-- no, thats the wrong way too we-- were lost were lost oh no were lost what do we DO--

yui+dDevi are. a goddamn mess. dDevi loves messing with this kid, always talking at him like it knows better-- which it does, technically, but it doesnt have to say it like that, shut up. it talks like a shitty older brother as if it wasn't leagues smaller than him and shaped exactly like a kickball. (yui doesn't vocalize this. he is so very tempted to, though.) despite all the ribbing, yui is pretty much the only person it'll talk seriously with. obviously yui is rather frustrated with it at times, but he can tell it does genuinely mean well. mostly. they squabble, but they do keep each other from doing anything too stupid. and further than that: even if he doesn't say anything, yui can tell when there's something on its mind.

the digiduo are... odd, certainly. but, strangely, there seems to be some sort of tension between the two-- they... really dont seem to get along. pata is deeply distrustful of dDevi, noting its existence as an evil digimon. like, it's in the name! devimon! not to mention how often it leads them astray or messes with them just for kicks-- something's up and it's not sure what.

on the other hand, dDevi doesn't much like pata either. it's a stuck-up killjoy thats convinced it's always right when it can barely make any good calls. always hiding behind its whole spiel of "good" and "evil" like it's so trustworthy. it doesn't even know what it's talking about half the time! if it's going to lecture them, it should at the very least be right about it. get a reason to be upset other than "that ones clearly evil, look at it!"

and then... there's the memories. or rather, the lack thereof. both seem to remember parts of some grand legend that they no longer have the ability to recall the whole of. something important to their reason of being-- and the presence of the digidestined twins.

pata seems particularly insistent of it being a prophecy, a series of steps to follow that foretell what and who they should be. (something about it seems to stress them out particularly badly, though... what exactly is it that they're living up to? why doesn't it know?)

dDevi... pretends not to care, at least. but it recalls the legend too, and hearing the fragments of it seems to make it upset. it wants nothing to do with the legend, and just wants to do... anything else. (anything to get further away from that stupid story. it's not one to be shackled by expectations like that.)

and again, the twins seem to differ on what they make of the story. yui sides with pata, believing its their best bet to at the very least figuring out how to get home. mui, on the other hand, slowly begins to wonder what exactly the gaps in the legend could mean, and wants to find out what it truly is. it's hard to follow a broken path. after all, who's to say its really a path at all? which brings us to... a bit of a conflict.

///

after a particularly rough leg of the journey, things start to get... difficult. theyve had little to no luck learning much of Anything of the way forward-- and things are just getting harder and harder as they go. yui isn't sure how much more they can really take of this. they're starting to barely make it out of these situations alive, so... so maybe they're better off just accepting it. nothing's leading them anywhere, nothing is making sense-- they might as well just... find a place to hide and keep their heads low. live it out as best they can. (he isn't sure how much more they can take.)

mui, of course, protests-- there were so many more places they haven't looked through yet! there was no telling if they found something or not unless they went for it! it was always going to be hard-- they couldn't just give up and wait for the difficulty to find Them. (he can't stand the idea of just giving up after all that...)

the two begin bickering, and it gets... hard. pata starts experiencing some doubt, unsure of if they should really be pressing on into certain death-- they'd just had some ridiculously close calls, and maybe waiting it out would reveal something..? (the knowledge of the unfinished legend hangs above its head, and the thought of unravelling it... is starting to give them a bad feeling.) dDevi doesn't want to sit around and do nothing while waiting for death-- that's boring and pathetic. itd much rather do something with itself even if it's scary. (it needs to know the truth. why so many others know them, why it keeps getting such bitter stares... why? it's frustrating.)

and the bickering turns to arguing. after a few too many harsh words from both sides... they split up. mui heading off with dDevi to find out what was really going on, and yui with pata to... find somewhere safe. figure it out.

for yui and pata, it's... a bit of a long journey. the two rarely speak, mostly just quick words to keep each other alert and avoid attention. yui is mostly pushed forward by his stubbornness, but... it does bother him. it bothers him a lot. he's afraid, he's worried, and he doesn't know what to do. he wants to figure it out, he wants to have all the answers. but he doesn't, and it was stupid to think he ever couldve. legend or not-- prophecy or not, they were just kids. what could they really do? what were they supposed to do?

and as it turned out, pata was worried sick as well. it isnt until a quiet moment that yui catches pata crying-- and they finally talk. because pata hated this too. it hated feeling like it should be able to lead them, but being unable to because of the gaps in its knowledge. it hated giving up, because it knew they needed to do something, and it was letting them down by doing nothing. and most of all... it missed mui. it argued because it was afraid, but it knew this was no better. more than anything, it just wanted to help.

they both knew they couldn't keep going with this. if not for their own sakes, then for the others'.

team mui's progress is... equally difficult. it was already hard enough moving about with a halved party, but they also aren't with their bonded partners, so their Actual Useable FIrepower is much much more limited. the entire time, dDevi goes on and on insulting the other pair, insisting it was really about time this went and happened, and that their own pair was obviously right all along. mui stays quiet through much of this, but after a particularly cruel jab, mui snaps back.

because he knew it didn't really mean any of it. dDevi was smug and irritating, sure, but it was just about always a joke. it was never this mean about it... unless it was actually, personally upset. that was a lot of talk for someone who insisted it didn't care. and even if it were to deny it, mui wouldn't stand for someone saying the people he cared about weren't worth anything. of course they were afraid-- they all were. answers were never easy. it was why they were working so hard to begin with.

and dDevi was genuinely taken aback-- because it was always convinced that mui was the pushover of the group. but just like that, he'd managed to completely read its actions without so much as a word. and... he was right. it wasnt proud of what it said, but it had to stand by it. it just didnt know how else to justify itself-- how else to keep going. but... all of this-- everything had always been for each other, hadn't it? and they certainly wasn't going to stop there.

they just had to find a way to convince the others.

of course, nothing was ever easy. its the risk they knew they were taking, but... maybe a risk they weren't quite prepared for. wherever they go, together or not, some new threat will always find a way to rear its head. but between the two of them, there wasn't much they could do to fight back. and they full well wouldn't have been able to make it... had it not been for team yui showing up at a crucial moment, yuichiro putting himself directly in the line of danger to draw attention from mui-- giving him and pata a chance to actually fight back now that they were reunited.

it's a messy fight, but with all of them together-- and a newfound but concrete trust-- they manage to push through relatively unscathed-- if a bit battered on yui's end. after a few moments to make sure everyone was all right (and ironically, to scold each other over being so reckless,) they finally get the chance to talk. and... to apologize.

///

and now for more scattered notes before i end up writing another minific in a tumblr post.

the legend goes very similarly to a typical fairy tale-- a battle between forces of good and evil, and the champions of each. long ago, there was another pair of digidestined that stumbled across the digital world, and very quickly became unrivaled in power. one half, however, became corrupted by the allure of strength and jealousy, splitting both the digital world and their familial bond. as things came to a boiling point, their conflict brought unseen destruction to the digital world, each of the chosen digimon destroying each other in the battle. crushed and in denial (for varying different reasons,) the old digidestined simply... vanished, one day, never to be seen again. as for their chosen digimon, their data was wiped nearly clean, to be born anew for when they were needed again.

as a whole, it's a story of forging bonds, learning to trust, and breaking cycles of violence.

dDevi hates the idea of digivolving due to lingering memories of that past life. it refuses to interact with it at all, and commits itself to just having a good time and living a life it can enjoy. it doesn't want to become... that again.

pata remembers that betrayal and remembers something awful happening, but... something about having to distrust the other makes it deeply, deeply sad. it want to believe in the best in dDevi, but it also feels the pull of responsibility of having to live up to the legend. that was the only thing it felt it could trust.

the old digidestined are, of course, the tsugikuni twins. whether they show up again or not is still in the air-- yoriichi being pata's old partner and michikatsu being dDevi's.

i dont feel like digging through the digiwiki for another hour but id like to somehow integrate dDevi's original digivolution line being more in line w/ canon, going all in on the Hehoo Evil(tm) thing, but with yui, it follows a more neutral route, following its own desires rather than the course of what the story Expects of it.

SO !!! YEAH!!! DIGIMON AU!!!! i care about this a very normal amount, and if you read this far: thank you, and I Am So Sorry.

[khaleesiofalicante]

and this chapter the new one is the reason why i would never stop loving my little Max blueberry, i loved him since i first knew of his existence (in teh fictional world) btlio was the second story i ever fucking picked up after completing tmi even before the rest of teh tftsa book. I ... the pain never stops, last time i was crying over arthur now i am crying over max , tbh i i was also a little biased towards max throughout the whole lbaf story ( only time i was a little furstrated was because of the mallory trust situation - but it just showed he is too good for the world my max) and DAVID?! wow that boy has literally been tortured since birth with just a good few years sprinkled in between. WHYYYY DANI WHYY, also other max did a honoruble thing choosig teh world but his FAMILY!?? wow. my max i just want hi to be alright ( and teh rafe and max scene was sooo heartbreaking but such a heart touching moment) also magnus baby stop taking credit for all teh bad things happening, buddy, you are good, believ that. wow my max ,.,, and david wow, i sort of knew it was going to come to these two choices, and wehenver i wondered about teh trigge rof the story i aways thought either arthur will die or..actually it was only what i thought, but i was like nahh dani wont, arthur is her fav baby she wont, but girl whattt, i wasnt surpised but i was surpised *insert surprised pickachu face* but i didnt forsee max having to make such a difficult choice, so now he took arthur to pandemobium, his body is disintegrated, and he truly is gone isnt he. also whoa HERMES BACK OFF BUDDY BACK TEH FUCK OFF, DONT TOUCH MY MAX, HE LITERALLY JUST FUCKING SAVED YOUR ASSES by making kincaid exist you bitch. i hope max tells him or atleast magnus does something to protect him, i know he wont let hermes hurt his kid, no wayy.

also so if in the alt uni, alec is dead when lance destroyes idris, like rafe and all everyone

ALSO THAT BITCH FUCKING DONKEY MADELINE AND KYLE (firts they hurt kincaid, and then HE SAYS BITCHY THINSG ABOUT ARTHUR ?whore ? that what that piece of shit said you are a fukcing whore pretending to love his wife and then also telling hell hurt her.

he is psychotic both of them like MADELINE THAT FUCKING BITCHJUST AS BAD AS MALLORY ACTUALLY WORSE, saying david got to hold him was more than he deserved, NOW I am like glad she suffered, PLEASE DANI DO GODS WORK AND MAKE THEM SUFFERRRRRRRRRRRR LIKE ANYTHING, nothing will be enough at this point, (ps this is actually how real life abusive toxic marraiges also exist like threatening to harm the mom to a kid and the mom who stays their willingly bc of how they believe they are dependent and love their husbands, who are emotionally manipulative.) its so hard to see for people about the suffering and people just go on like that.

mallory (sry madeline i mean, i just exhanged them in my head) (like bitch you all knew the repurcussions of going to that meeting and werent you teh one who aupported david, and wtf excuse does kyle have aother than his bruised ego to want this shit so bad) and kyle have no redemption. and like people no matter how scared just allow such inhumaness like killing kids, harming torturing them and teh fact that even in real life this has happened in history is disgusted.

thank you for all your hardwork and giving us this chapter.

I say this with my whole heart but I would literally pay money to watch you life react to LBAF chapters 😂😂😂

[absolutebitchgetter]

The problems of CS. Combined in one.

Since the CS ninjas are onto me, i shant give up. You will forever hear the tunes of the rumours of ABG'S unbanning.

Heres all the CS posts i can find:

All of this might share the same topic, and thats a feature of how Comic Studio doesnt - or probably will never - fix its problems. Insane. I know. However, why am i not giving up if we cant fix it?

To save people's sanity.

Im trying to get unbanned so i can prove i am trying to become a better person, and save people's mental health by pointing out thr flaws in:

-moderation

-people

-studios

-controversy

-kids

Its honestly pretty scary how kids are exposed to Jayst- i mean the toxicity of comic studio, and also how the experienced CS users are saying its worse than fucking Twitter.

Where can i begin with the fucking moderation? Where were they when i was getting banned? One is treated like an angel after the fucking outrageous calls he does. How long was i banned? 8 months? Yes. 8 Fucking Months. Above Half a year. One has literally made DOXXING JOKES TO ME and made me fear for my life. One in the cs discord takes someone elses side when i ask for a spoiler for Binding of Isaac (a pretty scary game). One is just fucking horrible at moderation. And one is probably biased after i did a few too many pings in a server. A server i owned btw, no one stopped me. You know who you are. :)

To name a few very shit studios,

-Probably fucking most of them

Probably 10% of the studios get used.

And a lot of them are just fucking shit.

We have a fucking NICK JR studio for like 2 YEAR OLDS.

When is there a fucking Despicable Me comic studio?

To name types of people:

Suspected pedophiles

probably pedophiles

pedophiles

nazis

racists

homophobes

transphobes

xenophobes

sexists

anti semetic

Jokes aside tho there are lot of people i named that are actually one of the things above. There are also lots of fucking toxic people.

To my next point

popular beats all apparently

If your popular, dont fear of being banned! You fucking wont be!

I can name, a shit ton of people that should be banned but wouldnt because they have a shit ton of followers and that would get a lot of people to quit the site.

-Puffyy (Should i say more?)

-Jaystar (☠️)

-Onion_Rabbit (Threw about users like hell, faked harassment, legit got people to witchhunt me (December 2022), was toxic to me before i got banned (unfairly) (July 2023)

-Deathzy (A fucking mpreg and sex comic untagged, did the same as Onion_Rabbit July 2023, has known cases of being cocky as fuck when they get their way)

-SarahKomik (Has threw about users under the bus pretending to victimise themselves over the slightest of out of context things. The current situation with Oka is one.)

-Zappy (The same as above.)

Theres a lot more! Holy fuck

This community has a complete fucking hivemind too.

When popular users say "this person has done something bad (slightly or horrible) target them guys" and when they say "dont harass this person pls" they're praying that the mods dont fucking mob them. Oh wait.

Its like a lot of people have pointed out popular beats all!

Also, this is how people say "fuck the rules" (e.g, Oka and me)

If you have any problems, comment it, You probably shouldnt have but if your a snowflake, combat me.

Oh yeah i also forgot Tammy got knocked about like the school thot at summer time with the football team. They need apologising yall. This is the reason why people quit, my point above. Tammy quitting is one of the worst things to happen to CS.

[fantastic-mr-corvid]

why i don't really write things centering jjba!Cecio?

So... JJBA Cecio... and why dont i write much about his central thing of being a mafia controlled cop or change it to something else. warnings for discussion of police and their role as violent enforcers of the state

Tldr: i feel uncomfortable humanizing a cop while writing how much corruption and brutality they do, in a way i dont feel with Muro and Tesoro and Conficcare despite them also doing awful things, meaning i dont think i will ever properly write about the center of Cecios story, but also i dont want to change it to something that triggers me less bc its so core to his character and came from something i was trying to say, so its just gonna be this hole that i maneuver around.

so in Celia & co, Cecio is persuaded to train as an officer and act as a informant and inside agent for Passione by a member of the data analysis team, and uses his sob story and pretty face to act as a 'good cop' while secretly doing what passione wants from him- evidence tampering, altering cases, disappearing people, ect..

For many many reasons i struggle to write him with the same level of flawed humanity and emotion as i give my other also horrible and violent characters [Muro, Tesoro, ect...] when hes in uniform, mainly because of me and my communities experiences with police brutality.

yeah, yeah, we need to remember that these people are human and many of us can all turn into fascistic and violent enforcers the states will if in the wrong circumstances and we shouldn't label pigs as something other and separate, rather as people who believe the lies and often think they are doing 'right'

But you wont see much of that from me. the only good cop is a dead cop, and its not exactly subversive or needed to go "🥺 but they have thoughts and feelings and reasons and family too! 🥺" [🤢] I place it in a similar mental spot as "Look at all those poor soldiers traumatized by killing brown people" aka we dont need more and in pretty poor taste to focus on their trauma over the trauma and deaths of people they are killing.

So don't expect any fics exploring Cecios mindset as he ruins peoples lives because its probably never happening unless we see a world were a complete abolishing the police is feasible and nothing arises to replace them and i also get over my own revulsion of everything cop.

[am i biased in how i humanize Muro and Tesoro and Conficcare and Rametta and the conditions that led to them being career criminals but draw a line at a pig? Eh. Maybe, but quite frankly i think drawing a line at humanizing perpetrators of state sanctioned violence and giving sympathy to the reasons they do in my own works is a pretty sane line to draw. i mean i've lived in one of the worst areas of london and all i gotta say on gang shit is my dad probably deserved it when he got his ass beat and i kept my head low and my tone respectable like any smart kid, whereas nothing quite inspires fear in me like seeing a cop]

Now onto why i haven't changed it even if i will probably never be able to explore whats pretty much the center of his character.

He's a piss take. a satire. A commentary on the very thin line of legality that separates cops from violent criminals in the eyes of the public

Cecio is a police officer who works for a criminal organization and follows their explicit and implicit orders to frame people, brutalize them, fake evidence, and make sure that no-one around him is 'good' and are instead beaten down and manipulate into going with whatever his superiors want. He is a blight on his community and betrays them to help himself, all while pretending to be a nice and good young man, with people eating it up to excuse the acts he commits.

So he's just a slightly worse than average cop 🤷‍♂️

there's just functionally so little difference between his role as a police officer and his role as mafia plant in the force, other than sometimes his orders from the cops and criminals conflict.

Maybe i will change him to some other career, like a forensics cop not just a detective, where he isnt quite the same in terms of enacting violence and is 'just' altering evidence, but the core of his character is the idea that you slap a pretty face and a sob story on a very dangerous criminal cop and he can get away with anything, and that the line between organized crime and police forces is mainly which one is formally employed by the government. [Its why trickster is perfect for him, his character is one big joke at how society excuses police corruption and state violence with the thinnest of excuses]

Im turning reblogs off on this, but im more than happy to answer questions/asks given in good faith. this shit is something i dont mind discussing its more the act of writing a story about it makes me too uncomfortable

[spatio-rift]

Hello! I wanted to ask your favourite ships and the ones that you don't really like and why

Hiiii thank you for asking i love to talk about stuff like that and procrastinating on work. i think in recent years ive been enjoying comedic dynamics the most ^_^ i love to laugh and the best kind of dynamics (romantic or otherwise) to me are ones that are funny first and foremost. and theyre best when theres something compelling about it but still a lot of room to play around.

a funny thing ive noticed also is that for most of the media i really really like i care about a platonic unit including the ship/at least one character more than the ship itself? like strky > imakasa, taka (oto) > suika, $quad > kubometo.... like the shipping is funny but the platonic unit is where i get the warm feelings from.

now to actually answer the question ^_^

my favorite ships are the ones cited above as i said mainly because theyre hilarious to me. but i also like that suika dont necessarily like eachother but grow to care deeply for eachother, and the plausible possibility of a history together in oto as kids from how much they know about each other despite being so hostile in early hebi. what happened there... its funny asf but It Could Be That Deep. and also i like the idea that they still hold a massive grudge against sasuke literally 15 years after he fucked them over even though the man doesnt care and probably doesnt even remember. ive always liked the idea that they could have bonded when they reunited during the war over both being mad at him for treating them like dirt but alas kishimoto decided karin still being into sasuke and beating the shit out of suigetsu was funnier.

kubometo and imakasa have a lot less going on, mostly i just find them absolutely hilarious. imayoshi in knb is mostly presented as weird menacing and creepy from seirins pov so imakasa (and strky) is a fun way to play around with his sillier traits, because in that unit hes not a scary opponent determined to do everything in his power to win, hes not an eccentric senpai that never says what hes thinking to his teammates... around kasamatsu and other dudes his age hes just a gay little freak. its refreshing!

i will not pretend kubometo has anything like this going on. its just really funny to me! so many things in saipsi are, but this one really scratches an itch for me. i would actually say that trying to make it deeper than it is and write about it seriously makes it a lot less interesting for me. well thats just my saipsi philosophy in general ^_^ if you start thinking too hard about it it becomes less funny, which is a capital mistake when enjoying a gag manga.

Erm ! for the ships i do not like.... there are so many but out of respect for some beloved followers i wont mention the ones that i really hate just because im biased as hell and no other reason (lol). lets just talk about a few that i have actual arguments for.

for saipsi i dont mind a lot of things as long as it is made funny by people who like it (otherwise i just do not care) but when it comes to saiko and kusuo im sorry we need to stop what is happening here. Out of every possible pairing in saipsi why these two. asou made saiko because financial power was the only thing he could think of at the time that was left to be a challenge to kusuos powers, and then he never really pitted them against each other because it was (offense number 1) already done (kusuos dynamic with kokomi and her divine beauty esp in earlier saipsi revolves around the exact same thing) and (offense number 2) literally not even funny.

their main reasons for interacting are 1) one sided rivalry because of kokomis crush on kusuo, which was abandoned Very Quickly and thank god for that because it wasnt funny at all and made saiko less likeable with each panel (and it encroached on makotos reason for existing in the work as well) 2) The Purge, except saiko never ever learns who that cyborg ciderman cosplayer that humiliated him was. kusuo barely registers in saikos mind past his introduction like he really doesnt care. the ones that consistently and meaningfully interact with him are always nendou, aren and kaidou, kusuos just always around so we actually witness it. it actually matters a lot to me that saiko is one of the only characters that are in the (extended) friendgroup not because of kusuo but mainly because of first kokomi and then nendou. so why make him and kusuo a thing?? theres nothing there! (heavy breathing) sorry if you like saisai i had to get it off my chest.

i think one other ship that i really do not like now for Actual Reasons is hanaima from knb. i used to be a Huge fan but as with a lot of things in this godforsaken fandom my enjoyment of it was really soured by people who just Did Not Get It. hanaima is the ship for people who want a ~Dark and Edgy~ dynamic in a highschool basketball manga. people who like it generally dont understand hanamiya and imayoshi as characters and the actual dynamic they have, they just want to write about abuse and poor little meow meow hanamiya and yandere sadist imayoshi and stuff like that. One! hanamiya is not scared of imayoshi he just hates him for being annoying and weird and not letting him do whatever he wants which is injure people and ruin their dreams! Two! imayoshi is kind of a freak but he is kind! whatever awful thing you think imayoshi did to hanamiya in middle school that explains why hanamiya doesnt want to do anything with him now is complete bullshit! its not about imayoshi being evil or an abuser or anything like that ITS ABOUT HANAMIYAS EGO! at most imayoshi is just annoying because messing w people hes fond of is his favorite past time!

ah well there are more things that people get wrong about their characters and dynamic but lets not increase my heart rate too much i wouldnt survive it. if i had to sum it up i think ships i do not like are either just offensively unfunny or like, the idea of the ship goes against established character so forcing it to happen makes them awfully ooc to the point of being near unrecognizable. like i know anything can happen in the mind of a fan but i like these characters for a reason, you know?! Erm well i dont know how to end this rant now so ill just say thank you for asking and sorry if its a boring read, just talking about myself and all ...!

[hotchs-big-hands]

okay another personal headcanon that i could just be biased about bc i hate haley but i think haley tampered with their birth control. haley and aaron were the typical american dream. high school sweethearts married right out of high school or college so if they were gonna have kids id imagine they wouldve had them a lot younger than 40. and i dont think aaron ever wanted to have kids so i imagine they used birth control and condoms plus they successfully avoided pregnancy for over a decade. so i think once haley realized aaron was dead serious about being unit chief and how much he genuinely loved his job despite the depravity of mankind she started pushing for a baby haaaaard.

and when aaron consistently told her no he didnt want kids shed simply take matters into her own hands. she cant force him to quit for no reason so what better way to do it than getting herself knocked up? thatll certainly make him love her more and force him to quit right??? so i think she straight up wouldnt take her birth control and would just take them out of the package on the days aaron was gone and just throw them down the sink or something and just pretended like she was shocked that she got pregnant. and then once she realized aaron wasnt going to quit for their kid either she let the bitterness and resentment take over her bc now shes stuck essentially being a single mom to a kid she only had as a manipulation tactic and aaron still wont quit. double flop

Honestly? Wouldn't surprise me if she did that ngl. It was very odd they went so long without kids so no doubt she had smth to do with why she suddenly got pregnant. I guess the only thing that you can say is she didn't hate Jack like some parents end up doing?? Idk lmao 💀 thinking abt her makes me annoyed lmaooo

Edit: I should also add that if she did technically do that that could be considered sa of sorts. He was having sex whilst not knowing she was intentionally sabotaging their protection. That's ... yknow

[angelhummel]

Wow - that's a very impressive list of songs. i was looking at it in detail, and i'm sure you have, and i wont bore the pants off your mutuals, but it's very interesting!!

I counted the group numbers - ie 3 or more characters or more and this is how it broke down:

season 1 - 19 numbers season 2 - 13 numbers season 3 - 16 numbers season 4 - 15 numbers season 5 - 11 numbers season 6 - 4 numbers

18 characters had solos still on list.

I think about 38 different duet partnerships.

oooh that is interesting!! thank you for taking all that down for me. I do like breaking stuff down like that but tbh no i haven't looked quite so intently myself bc it's work enough as it is just doing everything else lmao

which, fun fact, i've given myself more work than i need bc even tho i could go ahead and write out a full bracket, i haven't. i keep randomizing the matchups every time lmao so i and the voters have no idea what's coming! more work but more fun imo (if you dont agree sorryyy but its my poll uwu) but yeah ive been staring at the names of all these songs that i start to feel like ive accidentally done doubles and messed something up but nope, everything is just stuck that firmly in my brain rn lol

Alright since you mentioned solos I'm gonna go thru and list all the characters that still have solos in the running, and how many there are...

Elliott: 1

Emma: 1

Holly: 1

Jake: 1

Jane: 1

Sunshine: 1

Jesse: 2

Quinn: 2

Brittany: 3

Unique: 3

Artie: 4

Finn: 4

Tina: 4

Santana: 8

Kurt: 9

Rachel: 9

Mercedes: 15

Blaine: 24

Now it's kind of null bc it's not like I included how many solos they had from the start BUT we all know Rachel had the most (42) and Blaine managed to come second (29), despite being in a full less season than her

BUT as I always say Mercedes has the next most out of anyone lmao (24) so it always irks me when people act like she was starving for solos and needed more alongside like Kurt (13) or Santana (14) or god forbid Tina and Quinn with their pathetic little 6 each

and everyone can talk til they're blue in the face about how it has nothing to do with the actor or character and they just like what they like and that they just don't like rachel's solos bc there's so many they all start to run together which is totally valid criticism but are we going to pretend like mercedes and blaine don't also have that problem too???

i mean truth be told there are so many rachel solos that i forget about bc they just mean absolutely nothing to me or the plot lmao but honestly i feel like mercedes's solos run together more?? honestly im mostly just a fan of her early s1 ones but then everything after sectionals is like ...yep. (except for sweet transvestite, love rhps). i mean she has way fewer than rachel but they still manage to feel exhausting for me lol

and i kind of feel the same with blaine but to a lesser extent bc like the warblers are one thing but i really love all his songs but some of his from s3 onward are like... eh.

I think Kurt and Santana are the ones I have the least problems with, musical catalogue wise, bc at least their songs were fewer and further between so they hit harder. Plus there's actually like a lot of variety in their styles. which again could just seem like a personal matter bc like someone else could say that all kurt's songs are just old broadway standards that blend together but like that's what i like and what i know lmao so they stand out more to me from song to song. yknow???

so like it is all personal preference but also i do feel like some people are biased aklsjfdskl the end <3

[elliottnotyet]

[Image ID: on Twitter, a picture of a McChicken for $2.89 captioned "this was a dollar in 2018" it's retweeted by ThatOneGuy saying "It's psychology damaging to be fully cognizant that the price of everything has gone up by at least 100% in the last half decade, yet every figurehead in government is pretending that that's simply untrue and that half the western world didn't just slide into psuedo poverty." End ID]

I may be biased (southern Appalachian) but, I recommend beans. My grandpa says buy a bag of beans and you wont go hungry.

Top recomendations:

Pinto beans: you can cook them all day, just make sure they have enough water before you go to work/sleep.

Black beans: great with rice and spice. I don't cook them a lot because they can take about 5 hours and I don't usually have that much time between waking up and going to work or coming home from work and going to bed but they still make the list because they are tasty.

Split peas: only take 30. They dont even need to soak. Great if I forgot to prep anything. Just put a pot on, put a timer on, and zone out on my phone for a bit and their done. And if they cook too long, don't worry, now you have soup.

Remember salt and seasonings

[spacexseven]

(4/4) ok rapidfire round cuz i talked about aku and dazai WAAAY too much here are some other guys who work with this

fyodor - this fucker would legit get to the point where he actually fucking tries to kill you, and then a month later you’re just. back in his house. probably tied to a chair while he straddles your lap and pets your hair and coos about how badly he’s yearned for his little golubchik (little dove) since you last parted ways and how glad he was when he heard you were okay and how you guys should totally get married in the eyes of the lord and youre about to have a fucking anuersysm.probably wants to just pretend it Didnt Happen. he’d be very unequipped to deal with Feelings Of Guilt so he assauges it by showering you in affection and gifts and larping as Loving Husband. might tamper with you juuuust a touch so you forget about the whole thing, cuz seeing you flinch and try to get away from him makes his chest all tight and he doesnt Like It so you gotta stop doing it <3

gogol - all my ideas for him are VERY similar to what i already have down for dazai BUT differences are that he doesnt wanna torture you cuz he Dislikes you, he wants to torture you cuz he wants to see your Normal Person-ish reaction to incredible suffering! not only are you going through hellish pain, but it’s being inflicted on someone who you thought cared for you? how ghoulish! your reaction would certainly be one for the books! he gets attached to you probably the same way he did to fyodor, through you making real strides towards understanding him, but your Normal Ways would make him less keen on wanting to murder you and more keen on wanting to stay with you forever and make you his little birdie. you managing to piece together that your bf was actually that clown terrorist youve been hearing so much about DID throw a wrench in things a touch, but hes waaay too impressed with you to be bothered by it! youre even more amazing than he thought! wow! his darling birdie! lets stay together forever! why are you running away come back :(

kouyou - shout out to all my WOMAN LIKERS we got kouyou. gonna have to make this one quick i talked about the russians too much. listen. kouyou? she’s already got some baggage about losing the person she loves to the mafia, so falling for her target is EXTREMELY inconvenient for her. she wants to just ignore her feelings and be rid of you already, to save herself the trouble (insert wont say im in love from hercules somewhere in here), but you’re so... bright. much brighter than she ever thought she’d be able to experience, and you care for her so much… she just cant bring herself to let you slip away. please, dont hate her for bringing you into the darkness with her. she wont let it infect you, she promises! anything and everything to protect her precious light. 

CONCLUSION: im insane

- 🩹

can you tell i'm super biased towards nikolai :< all asks in this au (basically yandere uses the reader to steal info, falls for them as well) are tagged as #spy au 🐟

cw: yandere characters, obsessive behavior, possessive behavior, jealousy, violent threats, murder, forced relationships, kidnapping, imprisonment, manipulation, nikolai has previously pulled out a knife on reader and threatens to kill them.

honestly i don't think fyodor would ever feel guilt for his previous actions. sure, he's roughed you up far too much for the sake of the mission and ruined your life and tortured your friends but all of that was to bring you both together! everything that happened was for the good of your relationship. he always knew you were something special, back when he decided to use you as a way to get information about yokohama's ability users. in fact, he had already decided back then that he would have you join him to fulfill his goal once he gained what he needed to know. you would be useful in a lot of ways, but mostly he wanted you there for a far more selfish reason.

(it did get pretty lonely at the top.)

you thought fyodor was going to kill you after his true intentions were revealed, but waking up to find him holding you like he was cradling the most wonderful thing in the world made you realize you couldn't be more wrong. he had never been to pushy when you met, never asking anything suspicious enough for you to think he was using you. in fact, you only ever met him once every few weeks in a desolate corner when you felt tired from all your work. maybe that false belief that you two were strangers who would never meet at day was what led you to confide in him things you should never have. things you would have gotten killed for revealing if he hadn't already killed your superiors. whatever it was that convinced you to do such a foolish thing, it ruined your life now.

maybe his strange attachment to you wasn't the worst possible outcome. at the very least, there seemed to be hope of you getting out of here alive if his incessant touches and condescending words didn't completely tear you apart.

nikolai is pretty similar to dazai, except he's never been bothered by the job. he likes messing with people, and it helps that you're just to cute! if you're going to freeze every time he places a hand on your back and look all shocked every time he steals a kiss, he's going to actually start liking you, you know? not a temporary arrangement, like in a 'you're-cute-and-i-can-show-you-off' way, but in a 'you're-never-leaving-my-side-and-ill-gladly-kill-everyone-so-you-only-have-me' way. he's that initially annoying and flirty stranger who eventually grows on you, so much so that when he one day puts a hand around you and gleefully announces that he was your boyfriend, despite never having talked to you about this arrangement, you can't find it in you to object. he is sort of cute, with that killer smile. even if he is so reckless you worry for him all the time and has these frightening rounds of jealousy, you supposed it could work out.

he doesn't even need you to finish his task, to be honest. stealing documents and the like was child's play for nikolai. he just wanted an excuse to mess with you while getting paid. oh, but you treating him so genuinely, with so much care...he can't just let anyone else receive that sort of treatment in the unlikely situation he had to break up with you. if he had to kill you after this arrangement, it would be quite a waste, wouldn't it? you were so sweet to him. there were always other ways to make you cry—ways he was sure you'd enjoy almost as much as him. if you didn't...well, you'd just have to learn to like it!

imagine his shock when he comes to visit one day to find you...gone! like you had disappeared from your place overnight. even he hadn't been expecting this turn, after all, the two of you had been getting even closer. was it because he kept insisting on trying some potentially dangerous things in bed? but you'd have talked to him about it first. this was...unlike you. and then he catches sight of the news and realizes someone had leaked out some of his personal history.

oops. he forgot most people weren't comfortable dating a murderer.

too bad you didn't have a choice anymore! he finds you, as expected. with his ability and his understanding of you, it was only a matter of time. thing is, nikolai doesn't really like to threaten you so badly, really. sure, there were those times when he swore he would tear apart anyone who tried to ask you out, and promised to kill everyone you ever dated before him so that he could be the only living person to boast of such an honor. and he did pull out a knife on you a couple times but it was all fun and games! really! this time, not so much.

nikolai had you grabbing onto the edge of his coat while he dangled you over the edge of a skyscraper, having used his ability to bring you here earlier. you were probably too scared to be listening to him, but all he was asking of you was an apology and a promise to never leave him like that again. promise him you'd always be by his side.

he was so worried for you! this was the least you could do to make it up to him.

koyou would be devastated when she realizes what this feeling was. the strange warmth that came from sitting next to you, sharing meals and talking about work, quiet moments together—she was stupid for letting it go this far. and now...now she was in too deep.

if only she had stuck to her goal and only been an acquaintance to you. if only you hadn't shown her such a beautiful sight and the possibility of a warm future together. she couldn't bear losing you, couldn't live knowing she could never hold you as close as she yearned to after this was over.

unless...she took some disastrous action.

she knew you would hate her more than you already did if she brought you into her world. you would hate it there, but she was foolishly hoping her presence would make it a little more bearable. you were so wonderful to her...could you manage to love her just a little more? could you overlook your disgust for her tainted soul and hold her like you did, before the truth came out?

[sasukeless]

so being serious what do you think the ending of naruto should’ve been? 🤲🏼

okay so i got three main different options because naruto's ending is so bad that you can make thousands of scenarios and all of them would look better that whatever we got.

1) the most reasonable in my opinion and that would've kept big chunk of the audience happy or at least they wouldn't complain so much: naruto and sasuke being co-hokages and actually changing the current system. getting ride of child soldiers, telling the truth about the uchiha massacre (in sasuke's own terms since its his clan), doing something about the hyuugas, uniting the nations, etc. basically the optimistic happy ending that even if it might not be what everyone wants but it wont feel like a sick joke where we get both characters making false promises and getting their characters arcs destroyed. also naruto and sasuke being co-hokages would be like a "parallel" of what hashirama and madara didn't do but should've since the beginning. oh and the elders imprisioned for life, or dead if i was the one writing it 🙏

2) okay this is more biased and its just sasuke and naruto just leaving because yeah, they deserve it. the system and konoha have already hurt them enough and they dont deserve them why do they have to be the ones to fix things? so yeah have them both just accept that they are tired and they dont own anyone shit, they will be better away. they do get ride of the elders or imprision them in this one too because.

3) maybe also biased but sns dying at vote 2. i made a post about this one so i wont make this long but yeah. they dying would've been really tragic and sad but even then i would've still prefered than them having sasuke become a dog of the state and naruto a fucking liar politician. also the elders also die or get imprisioned here, dont ask me how lets pretend kakashi grows some brain cells or smth.

also i would obviously take the whole hetero romance out of the ending because that was just bs for the sequel. and i dont say this to make sns canon or smth, i would be okay with naruto ending without any couple im general (698 already made sns canon for me so i dont realy care).

[lesberrian]

another teen mc bc I dont write anything romantic for obey me, yay

okay so what if the mc was like just obsessed with anime as levi but also add in kpop and true crime. dont ask, but most of my friends are like this

Lucifer

If you can keep this to yourself and talk about it normally then he doesnt care but if you try to info dump he will probably shoo you away

as long as you stay out of trouble he doesnt care about your hobbies

please entertain levi for him though

"Mc, have you ever thought about anything other than those three things?" "not really."

do a kpop choreography while hes lecturing you, I dare you

Mammon

all he can think about is another levi

and then you went on about serial killers and he freezes

this kid is talking about gruesome murders right after ranting about how male authors don’t write their female characters well because of misogyny 

gets you to talk about anime to levi while he goes through his room

he now knows all of Itzy’s chorography memorized and is proud

“MC look at this!” shows you a mv from 2019

he’s trying, okay

Levi

You’re literally his new bestfriend

he keeps up with all of you’re rants and streams albums with you

if you even try to tell me he isn’t a kpop stan, you’re wrong /j

sends you cursed kpop memes at 1 am

is a little concerned about how into true crime you are but listens anyways

overall if you want someone to talk to without having to tell them abything about the subject before, he’s your demon

Satan

talk to him about the true crime stuff. He’ll listen to you about kpop and anime but true crime will have him talking for hours

if the guy is dead, I can promise he'll try to see if you can ask him questions

gives you books with more detail in the human realm and even talks about what happened in some of the cases he was a part of

goes to the human world to watch court cases and will bring you with him

sometimes forgets you're a teen and goes off on some pretty gruesome stuff before getting in trouble with Lucifer

find this hot some crime anime and he'll watch it forever

Asmo

THIS MAN IS A KPOP STAN TIL THE DAY HE DIES

mainly stans gg but does like groups like monsta x and big bang

loves gen 2 kpop the most but cant deny how good the other generations are

has a secret stan account that's super famous with all the best edits

doesnt care about anime and true crime much but WILL take you to see every concert there is

posts choreography with you on deviltube and they blow up

matching outfits based on ur biases from groups (like suga and jimin or felix and chan)

beel

doesnt have intrest in any of those three but does tell you that from a demons POV he understands why dahmer liked how people tasted

may watch cooking animes with you but you have to make the food for him

listens to your rants and nods along pretending to understand

gets confused when you refuse to watch food wars with him

overall good to rant to but wont understand

Belphie

why does he know so much about the killers you are talking about

it's like he knows them personally

if hes not sleeping then he will talk to you about true crime

belphie also had you make him a playlist of soft kpop songs so he can listen to them in his sleep

dont let anyone know, but he really likes fruits basket

[jubilfetv]

talking about my problems with gen 8 pokemon design for no reason cause i feel like it

seeing those pokemon legends leaks has made me soooo apprehensive about future pokemon games and especially gen 9. cause while i think every gen is gonna have hits and misses (except gen 4 LOL im not even biased saying these cause dppt genuinely had some of THE best designs) with swsh and now pla im so. WHO is gamefreak hiring for these designs

like i hate to sound like a genwunner but at least with older pokemon designs, even if i didnt like them, they still looked like pokemon

like im not crazy about gurdurr but at least it still looks like. a pocket monster. and not whatever this new gen has been churning out. like look at these

its literally just a fucking squirrel like whats special about it. couldnt you have at least changed up the colours so its not literally just a squirrel from real life. hate these bitches

like at least do something interesting with it when its inspired from a real life animal LMAO?!?!?  greedunt you will never be pachirisu emolga etc

b4 i say anything else. i hate inteleon

biggest problem i have with the starters is that theyre either boring or they just suck. rillaboom is the  best one out of these but i dont like that it just has a drum LOL like its a gorilla u couldnt have leaned into the beating-chest thing instead of just giving it a drum?

scorbunny is THE most boring design. it just looks like someones furry character. thats not an insult but it doesnt even look like a pokemon. speaking of which why is everything so perfectly round? why is sobble so round why couldnt you have taken inspiration from real life lizards instead of just making it a generic boring cute design

cinderace is too anthro and i hate its anime eyes. didnt even put any effort into making it look like a creature that could plausibly exist in this universe cause it just looks like a guy inn a fursuit. speaking of which WHAT is with scorbunnys random yellow markings??? how would those even occur naturally in the wild. the colours is something else i have such a big issue with wrt gen 8 but ill get to that

and inteleon. literally the worst pokemon design in the entire franchise. was there really no other way to design a spy inspired lizard. why did you have to go the furbait bedroom eyes humanoid barely even a lizard creature route. UGLY!!!!!!!!!! fuck you inteleon

still mad we didnt get something like this instead. anyway comparing the gen8 starters with like, the gen2 or gen4 ones u really see where they started just going with boring cutesy designs instead of taking more inspo from the real life animals theyre inspired from. imagine totodile designed today... i dont wanna think about it

anyway even though i love impidimp it really showcases so many of the problems i have with these designs. theyre all obviously designed for modelling which isnt a BAD THING except that it seems to be the most simple modelling in existence. shapes are perfectly round or square and theres barely any interesting shapes

Like really.

also i hate this fucker for the same reason as skwovet/greedunt in that its literally just a regular penguin with an ice cube on its head. like WHY keep it the exact same colours as a normal penguin except for the random blue?! its not like youre limited to a certain palette

galar does have some really good designs though i wont pretend like it doesnt. toxtricity is one of my fav ever designs & i also love grimmsnarl (wish they kept it pink), corviknight, centiskorch, dragapult

anyway im gonna talk about the colours now. LOL. a big problem in these new designs is just the random colours slapped onto the pokemon without any effort to make them seem like natural markings OR something interesting for the design. like look at galarian slowpoke/slowbro compared to like croagunk

like the colours actually feel deliberate and LOOK good with each other. galarian slowpoke/bro just look like someone adding random colours in an attempt to make the design more visually interesting but it just looks like when im trying to work out an oc colour palette and start painting stuff over randomly. theres like. no thought behind it.

like with morgrem why the  random green lower body?? if its bc grimmsnarl’s green why not just keep regular grimmsnarl pink like the shiny??? it just feels random and doesnt blend well together. also WHAT the hell is up with its arms lol. also looking at it now they really could have played with  a hair tail thing where it looks like a devils tail. LOL. at least i like grimmsnarl

onto the pla leaks. ill get the ones i like out of the way first: h. growlithe, ursaluna, wyrdeer, basculegion, h. zorua/zoroark, h. braviary, h.voltorb. kleavor’s okay and i like typhlosion with its flames. decidueye couldve been worse. idk.  it looks better in action but i still prefer alolan decidueye

like no wonder they stopped showing us trailers LOL imagine a trailer of that hideous sneasel evo. it literally just looks like a stretched out sneasel. you will never be weavile

lilligant is boring considering its modern form

arcanine is fine i guess but i dont like the colours and theres like none of that stone guardian lion inspiration in there. hate to be that guy but literally all the fandesigns i saw were WAY better

samurott is boring. would look more interesting if they adjusted the colours and made the mustache black. ill probably choose it though just cause i want infernape on my team and will need a water type

h. electrode is boring as hell lol. why didnt they give it a mustache. voltorb is SO fun and then what. they just carved out electrodes eyes? YAWN

overqwil is fugly. sorry

avalugg is just like whatever

i like sliggoo/goodra’s typing but again theres just so much more you couldve done with it

new genie is um. well. its something. the turtle form i dont mind so much but i hate all the hearts and i dont like the colour palette

dialga and palkia are HORRIBLEEEEEE like 1) THROAT CANNON? WHAT WAS THE THOUGHT PROCESS BEHIND THIS? 2) get rid of the circular things and palkia will look SO much better 3) ik they were going for a combined with arceus thing here or something whatever but it looks like shit. black/white kyurem>>>>>>>these bitches any day

anyway yeah. was the pitch Make them ugly and or boring as possible or something. cause these designs are so. 

id better not hear anything about a gen9 until at LEAST 2024 btw and they better hire some new designers cause i cant put up with this *acting like im not always gonna love pokemon*

[somnilogical]

modular "ethics":

a wrong and two rights make a right

<<I've been known to cause outrage by suggesting that people who really care about something shouldn't have romantic relationships. Think what would happen if I dared to suggest that those people should also seriously consider getting castrated. That would be crazy! And who am I to suggest that basically everyone claiming to be doing good is faking it? Then people would feel bad about themselves. We can't have that!>>

https://squirrelinhell.blogspot.com/2018/02/men-have-women-are.html

previously i talked about an infohazard about altruism that seemed to fuck with grognor. it feels useful to pass by the dead and look at their lives and choices.

i dont think that castrating yourself is a good intervention for doing stuff you care about, like this is patchwork constraints for an unaligned optimizer. if you arent altruistically aligned from core values, castrating yourself wont make you more aligned.

the "altruists" having babies thing is actual insane and pasek is right about that. pretty much all of society will try and gaslight you about this the way sometimes people are gaslit about "i need to have sex with lots of attractive fems to keep up my moral so i can do super good stuff afterwards.". like if people want to do good for the world it will flow out as a continuous expression of value not some brent dill kind of deal that institutions like CFAR accepted until there was too much social pressure for them to maintain this facade.

the entire premise that morality is this modular thing and you can help set the utility function of an FAI while being a terrible person, is wrong. yet organizations like CFAR keep thinking it will work out for them:

<<We believe that Brent is fundamentally oriented towards helping people grow to be the best versions of themselves. In this way he is aligned with CFAR’s goals and strategy and should be seen as an ally.

  In particular, Brent is quite good at breaking out of standard social frames and making use of unconventional techniques and strategies. This includes things that have Chesterton’s fences attached, such as drug use, weird storytelling, etc. A lot of his aesthetic is dark, and this sometimes makes him come across as evil or machiavellian.

  Brent also embodies a rare kind of agency and sense of heroic responsibility. This has caused him to take the lead in certain events and be an important community hub and driver. The flip side of this is that because Brent is deeply insecure, he has to constantly fight urges to seize power and protect himself. It often takes costly signalling for him to trust that someone is an ally, and even then it’s shaky.

  Brent is a controversial figure, and disliked by many. This has led to him being attacked by many and held to a higher standard than most. In these ways his feelings of insecurity are justified. He also has had a hard life, including a traumatic childhood. Much of the reason people don’t like him comes from a kind of intuition or aesthetic feeling, rather than his actions per se.

  Brent’s attraction to women (in the opinion of the council) sometimes interferes with his good judgement. Brent knows that his judgement is sometimes flawed, and has often sought the help of others to check his actions. Whether or not this kind of social binding is successful is not obvious.>>

https://pastebin.com/fzwYfDNq

<<AnnaSalamon 2/6/09, 5:54 AM

Aleksei, I don’t know what you think about the current existential risks situation, but that situation changed me in the direction of your comment. I used to think that to have a good impact on the world, you had to be an intrinsically good person. I used to think that the day to day manner in which I treated the people around me, the details of my motives and self-knowledge, etc. just naturally served as an indicator for the positive impact I did or didn’t have on global goodness.

(It was a dumb thing to think, maintained by an elaborate network of rationalizations that I thought of as virtuous, much the way many people think of their political “beliefs”/clothes as virtuous. My beliefs were also maintained by not bothering to take an actually careful look either at global catastrophic risks or even at the details of e.g. global poverty. But my impression is that it’s fairly common to just suppose that our intuitive moral self-evaluations (or others’ evaluations of how good of people we are) map tolerably well onto actual good consequences.)

Anyhow: now, it looks to me as though most of those “good people”, living intrinsically worthwhile lives, aren’t contributing squat to global goodness compared to what they could contribute if they spent even a small fraction of their time/money on a serious attempt to shut up and multiply. The network of moral intuitions I grew up in is… not exactly worthless; it does help with intrinsically worthwhile lives, and, more to the point, with the details of how to actually build the kinds of reasonable human relationships that you need for parts of the “shut up and multiply”-motivated efforts to work… but, for most people, it’s basically not very connected to how much good they do or don’t do in the world. If you like, this is good news: for a ridiculously small sum of effort (e.g., a $500 donation to SIAI; the earning power of seven ten-thousandths of your life if you earn the US minimum wage), you can do more expected-good than perhaps 99.9% of Earth’s population. (You may be able to do still more expected-good by taking that time and thinking carefully about what most impacts global goodness and whether anyone’s doing it.)>>

https://www.greaterwrong.com/posts/4pov2tL6SEC23wrkq/epilogue-atonement-8-8

like opposing this isnt self-denying moral aestheticism or a signalling game of how good you can look (credibly signalling virtue is actually a good thing, i wish more people did it by for instance demonstrating how they win in a way that wouldnt work if they werent aligned. whose power seeded from their alignment.). its like... the alternative where people do things that it makes no sense for an altruist to do and then say that when they go to their day jobs they are super duper altruistic they swear; compartmentalizing in this way ...doesnt actually work.

people who want to obscure what altruism looks like will claim that this is moving around a social schelling point for who is to be ostracized. and that altruism as a characteristic of a brain isnt a cluster-in-reality that you can talk about. because it will be coopted by malicious actors as a laser to unjustly zap people with. these people are wrong.

both EA and CFAR are premised on some sort of CDT modular morality working. it is actually pretending to do CDT optimization because like with brent at each timestep they are pretending to think "how can we optimize utility moving forward?" (really i suspect they are just straight up mindcontrolled by brent, finding ways to serve their master because they used force and the people at CFAR were bad at decision theory) instead of seeking to be agents such that brent when brents plans to predate on people ran through them, he would model it as more trouble than it was worth and wouldnt do this in the first place.

CFAR and EA will do things like allowing someone to predate on women because they are "insightful" or creating a social reality where people with genetic biases who personally devote massive amounts of time and money to babies who happen to be genetically related to them and then in their day job act "altruistically". as long as it all adds up to net positive, its okay right?

but thats not how it works and structures built off of this are utterly insufficient to bring eutopia to sentient life. in just the same way that "scientists" who when they arent at their day jobs are theists are an utterly insufficient to bring eutopia to sentient life.

<<Maybe we can beat the proverb—be rational in our personal lives, not just our professional lives. We shouldn’t let a mere proverb stop us: “A witty saying proves nothing,” as Voltaire said. Maybe we can do better, if we study enough probability theory to know why the rules work, and enough experimental psychology to see how they apply in real-world cases—if we can learn to look at the water. An ambition like that lacks the comfortable modesty of being able to confess that, outside your specialty, you’re no better than anyone else. But if our theories of rationality don’t generalize to everyday life, we’re doing something wrong. It’s not a different universe inside and outside the laboratory.>>

--

to save the world it doesnt help to castrate yourself and make extra super sure not to have babies. people's values are already what they are, their choices have already been made. these sort of ad-hoc patches are what wrangling an unaligned agent looks like. and the output of an unaligned agent with a bunch of patches, isnt worth much. would you delegate important tasks to an unaligned AI that was patched up after each time it gave a bad output?

it does mean that if after they know about the world and what they can do, people still say that they specifically should have babies, i mark them as having a kind of damage and route around them.

someone not having babies doesnt automatically mark them as someone id pour optimization energy into expecting it to combine towards good ends. the metrics i use are cryptographically secure from being goodharted. so i can talk openly about traits i use to discern between people without worrying about people reading about this and using it to gum up my epistemics.

[horansqueen]

BabyGirl 10.0

NOTES:

♥ this is based on a concept i received a few weeks ago and ppl asked that i made a story with it. ♥ i planned 3-4 long parts but i think it’ll be 8-10 short parts okay more like 15 parts? lol ♥ 3.4k. fluff. ♥ there may be smut but i doubt it and IF it happens it wont be as explicit as my other smut works. ♥ i didn’t proofread and if you read my stuff you know i never do because im a lazy ass. ♥ I wrote the thing about socks without even thinking about Niall’s socks obsession (just because one of my daughters used to love socks sooo much) and then I remembered so I added something about it haha!  ♥ im so sorry it took so long, really. i will try to update quicker next time! ♥ if you have any questions please dont hesitate.

♥ PART 1  // PART 2 // PART 3  // PART 4 // PART 5 // PART 6 // PART 7 // PART 8 // PART 9

                                 10.0 SHOPPING & PRINCESS THINGS

HIM

I felt a bit disoriented when I woke up. The sun peaked through the living room windows and I could hear the tv in the background. I groaned low, sensing it was way too early to even think of getting up, but finally sighed and opened my eyes slowly. I felt someone move against me and gripped her tighter, pulling her closer to me. She let out a low whimper and it made me smile fondly. I turned my head to look at her sleeping, her mouth slightly open and her hair a mess, and it made my heart twist. A bunch of memories rushed through my mind and I brought my hand to move her hair out of her face. I could keep pretending I didn't love her, but I would just be lying to myself, and I was pretty much the only person who still believed my lies.

I let the tip of my finger slide on her jaw until her chin and it made the left corner of her lips move up. She moved her shoulder closer to her face and whimpered again, her eyes fluttering open slowly. They met mine and I smiled more as she did the same.

"Morning." she breathed, licking her lips.

"Morning." I replied just as low. "Slept well?"

She smiled more and stretched herself and for some reason, I felt suddenly endeared by the way she woke up, stretching her arms up and squirming slightly the rest of her body as a low groan escaped her lips. But It's only when she turned on the side and her arm wrapped around my chest that my heart jumped in my chest.

"Surprisingly, yes." she pointed out, looking up at me. "Your couch is amazing."

She was so close and my eyes roamed on her face, letting thoughts and memories invade me the way I never let them before. For once, I was making the choice I wanted, and not the one I knew I needed to make. I was allowing myself to go against what I thought everyone else wanted to do something I desperately needed and I was sure I wouldn't regret it for a second. I bent down slightly, brushing my lips against hers. They immediately curled and I chuckled, pressing my lips firmly on hers.

"Mommy, I'm hungry."

The voice made both of us jump and I instantly remembered the sound of the television playing when I woke up. It should have been a hint that Chelsea was awake but it simply didn't come to mind at that moment.

Her mom sat up and I did the same as she tried to comb her hair with her fingers. I was nervous, not really sure of what our daughter had heard or seen, and I cursed at myself mentally. Just yesterday, we had decided to start again but not tell Chelsea to be sure not to hurt her and the first thing we did was going against that, even if it wasn't intentional.

"Mommy!" she repeated in a whiny voice, making me raise my eyebrows.

"Chelsea." I replied without thinking. "Mommy just woke up, so give her some time okay?"

The confidence in my tone surprised everyone in the room, especially me, and I held my breath, a bit scared I would be told to mind my own business. They both stared at me, blinking a few times, and my daughter finally sighed, turning back to the television.

"Okay uncle Niall."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and turned to my girlfriend (the thought made my heart jump in my chest) who was sending me a fond smile that I quickly returned. She brought her hand to my cheek  and I felt a shiver cross my whole body when her fingertips brushed on my jaw.

"You're gonna be good at this." she whispered before getting up and walking to the kitchen.

We made toasts and eggs in silence, just moving together in my kitchen like we were used to cook together all the time. It was easy to be around her, just like it felt natural for the three of us to be under the same roof, and when we all sat at the table to eat, I started wondering when was the last time I felt that degree of happiness in my life.

Of course, there was always the shows, and the fans, and the recording, but feeling this happy in my own personal life was definitely on a different level.

"So Chelsea, you remember we're going at the mall today to buy you new clothes?"

Her face illuminated and it made me grin. I always thought kids hated shopping, especially for clothes. Clearly, it depended of the kid, and I had to stop being surprised at how special Chelsea was. I was way past thinking it was just my biased ass who imagined that she was unique. She had done nothing but surprise and endear me since day one.

"I will be able to pick dresses?" she asked in a high tone full of hope.

"Yes, of course."

"And and and hats?" she kept going. "AND SOCKS?"

The last word made me chuckle and I turned to her mother, my eyebrows raised up.

"Socks?" I mouthed, making her smile more as she nodded. "She likes socks?"

The thought of my own socks collection made my lips curl even more and i shook my head. I enjoyed discovering that we had things in common even if I didn't see her grow up. I guess it was a way for me to feel closer to her in a sense.

"But first, we have to go back home to get changed." she pointed out, taking me out of my thoughts. "We shouldn't stay in yesterday's clothes."

Chelsea nodded a bit exaggeratedly and jumped down the chair. I watched them leave to the bathroom to clean and I decided to go change too.

My room was almost cold, making a shiver run up my spine. I was happy she fell asleep in my arms on the couch and that thought made me smile. I quickly emptied my pockets, placing everything on my bedside table but held my breath when I noticed the silver heart again. I stared at it for a few seconds, swallowing the lump in my throat as the memory of it came back to my head. It was a gift for our anniversary and I made the vow to surprise her with every gift. This time, though, it was cheesy and I knew it, but I preferred to see it as romantic. I noticed she was not wearing the key that made a pair with the heart anymore and I couldn't hide that it was hurting me a bit but at the same time, I couldn't blame her for trying to forget. I put new pants on but slipped the heart in my pocket again, wondering if I should bring it up or not. I didn't have much time to think when I heard them get out of the bathroom and search for their coats.

We made a quick stop at their place and I waited for them in the car, slightly nervous about how the afternoon would go. I hadn't had a girlfriend in so long I could barely remember what it was like. That thought hit me hard and reminded me of that conversation I had with Louis, when he was looking for my watch. I meant almost everything I told him on that day, except when I said I had never been in love, but now that I had decided to try with her again, I felt completely different. It's crazy how only a few days can change everything. Or perhaps it was my daughter that changed me. Either way, I felt new, and It was a permanent change.

"Okay Chelsea, where do you want to start?"

My daughter looked around, her eyes roaming on all the stores and she pressed her lips together, moving them quickly from left to right as she pondered in silence.

"Dresses. I want to start with dresses." she affirmed with conviction, making me smile.

I was not really surprised as she seemed to have a keen interest in princess dresses and we made our way to a specific store I was not even aware existed before today. My eyebrows raised when I noticed all the pink and I slipped my hands in my pockets, playing with the small silver heart hidden in the right one. I felt out of place and I was not sure why but I simply followed them until a very specific section. Chelsea chose a few dresses to try on and when they got closer to the dressing rooms, she turned around and looked up at me.

"I want you to help me."

My girlfriend let out of a chuckle and bent down to her level to look at her.

"I don't think Niall's at ease yet." she explained kindly. "I'll help you and you can show him all the dresses you picked, is that okay?"

She stared in her mom's eyes and simply nodded before turning to me again. "I'll show you all of them!"

She rushed in a room and I let out a chuckle again at how endearing and incredible she was. They both disappeared behind the door and I waited a few minutes for them to get out. Chelsea walked out first and turned on herself as soon as she stepped out, making the bottom of her dress dance around her. It was pink with some white sparkles and my smile grew again. It only left when she turned to the mirror and I noticed the necklace she was wearing. A simple key with a purple gem laying nicely around her neck could be clearly seen on her reflection and I held my breath. I thought my girlfriend had gotten rid of it when we weren't together but she actually kept it to give it to our daughter and the gesture made me emotional. I swallowed the feelings threatening to burst out but it still invaded my whole body, bringing an unknown until now sensation inside me. I didn't know if it was love, endearment, gratitude or happiness but it felt like a mix of all of those.

"I love your necklace, Chelsea." I finally managed to let out after clearing my throat.

My girlfriend stopped moving and looked up at me in the mirror, her reflection staring at me. I couldn't quite decipher her expression but I didn't want her to feel bad about it and I sent her a fond smile. It took her a few seconds but her traits eventually softened and she smiled back at me with a relieved sigh.

"Thank you!" Chelsea answered, making my gaze move down. "It's from my daddy!"

My heart twisted in my chest and I swallowed an emotional lump for the second time. Knowing my girlfriend told our daughter about me, even without telling her who I was, made me happier than I thought it would.

After half an hour, she had picked the dress she wanted and I watched as my girlfriend took her card from her purse. I grabbed her wrist gently and her eyes met mine.

"Please, let me."

We looked intensely at each other for a while without even blinking and she nodded slowly, licking her lips. I knew that was not what she brought me here for but I wanted to do something more for my daughter, and also for her mother. I didn't know if she struggled a lot or not, but I knew it hadn't been easy on her and I was ready to do my part and help in any way I could.

My girlfriend bent down and told Chelsea something but her voice was too low for me to hear. When we walked out, my daughter turned to me with a huge smile.

"Thank you uncle Niall!" she let out a bit too loud. "I will think about you every time I wear it!"

At that point, what really hit me was not how polite she was, or how grateful she seemed to be that I paid for her dress. What hit me was how bad I wanted her to call me 'daddy" instead of 'uncle'. I wanted her to know I was her father, and that I was sorry for being absent all those years. I wanted to tell her that I loved her even if I didn't know her, or even that she was alive. I wanted her to see me like a daughter sees her father. I didn't just want her to know that she had a father that loved her, I wanted her to know it was me, and that in only a fraction of second, she had became my world and would be forever my priority from now on.

I swallowed an other lump of emotions and simply grinned.

"You're welcome, princess." I bowed down low enough. "I'm honored."

HER

Watching them interact was more amazing every time. There was a bond forming between them and seeing it tighten in front of me was incredible. I almost felt like I didn't belong and although I loved spending time alone with Niall, being the three of us together brought me a kind of happiness I hadn't felt before.

We kept following Chelsea through the mall, checking the stores she was interested in and refusing to buy every single thing she asked me whenever we entered a new place. The dress was a gift but she really needed new pants and t-shirts. It took a long time to pick tops and bottoms that actually matched when we finally left the last store, Niall and I were not only exhausted but also a bit annoyed by all the shopping we had made. On the other hand, Chelsea still had a lot of energy. We stopped for fast food and when we were about to walk out of the restaurant, Niall stopped by a small vending machine. Chelsea and I stopped too and walked back to him as I frowned. He put a few coins in it and turned the handle. We watched as something fell and he bent down to grab it, opening it quickly and handing it to our daughter.

Her face seemed to illuminate and he got down on one knee, smiling to her. I couldn't help but feel endeared by the scene in front of me. I knew what kind of boyfriend Niall was, but I didn't know what kind of father he could be. I now realized that he was just as adorable.

"A princess deserves a pretty ring, don't you think?"

She smiled and nodded as he took the plastic ring and grabbed her hand, slipping it on her middle finger. The ring was slightly too loose but it didn't seem to bother Chelsea at all. Her lips curled as much as they physically could and she finally threw herself into Niall's arms. He seemed surprised at first but he took her into a warm embrace and closed his eyes.

"Thank you."

Her voice was low, almost a whisper, and it was surprising I even heard it. Niall smiled more, his eyes still closed, and at that exact moment, I realized something. I always thought Chelsea needed a father. It was in the way she asked me about him, and how it seemed to be something missing in her life. But as I watched Niall interact with her and giving her all the love she deserved, I realized that he needed her just as much as she needed him. Maybe more, even.

"You're welcome my princess."

The fact that I denied him four years of this made me feel even more guilty and I held my breath, trying to calm the erratic beatings of my heart. If only I could go back in time...

It kept bothering me through the whole day, and the feeling of culpability became harsher by the minute. It had never really left me since the day we saw Niall again but now that I was completely aware of all the wrongs I did and pain I caused, it was even worse. I kept both of them from so much love and happiness with each other through these years and I clearly would never forgive myself for it. I knew Niall would never forgive me either and It took me all my strength not to start crying. Would Chelsea ever forgive me? She probably wouldn't be mad at me when she'll find out but in a few years, she'll be able to understand exactly what I did and thinking about my own daughter hating me was something that scared me more than I thought it would.

I kept quite until we were sitting in Niall's kitchen once again. I played with my food, not feeling hungry at all, while Niall and Chelsea were having a discussion. He was telling her about his socks collection and she excitedly asked to see it. I stopped listening to them, lost in my thoughts, and jumped slightly when I heard my name.

"Are you okay, love?"

Chelsea laughed and I looked up, watching as Niall's eyes moved to her.

"What makes you laugh, Chels?"

"You called her 'love'" she pointed out, making a small smile form on my lips. "That means you love her."

She was still young and didn't really understand it was a simple nickname and that Niall used it with many people. The nuances were not as obvious for her as they were for us. I chuckled low but remained silent, curious to find out how Niall would get out of this one. I knew he was very good at twisting things around to be sure he wouldn't have to answer a question he didn't like. I leaned my elbow on the table, placing my chin in my hand, and stared at him.

"Maybe I do, Chelsea." he simply said. "In fact, I do love her."

I held my breath, my heart now beating so hard against my rib cage I felt like it was going to just fly out. My brain had a hard time processing his words and my lips parted slightly in shock.

"And I also love you, Chelsea."

I blinked a few times, trying to get back to my senses and inhaled deeply, turning to look at my daughter who was smiling.

"I love you too, uncle Niall."

He brought his hand to her cheek and caressed it gently before raising his eyebrows and pointing her plate with his chin.

"Are you done?"

She nodded slowly and yawned, rubbing her eyes with a sigh. It took me all my strength to move but I finally got up and turned Chelsea's chair my way.

"Bed time, we had a long day."

"Nooooo! I want to watch a movie!" she whined.

It would normally make me smile but I was too startled to be completely normal. I knew it would take me a few minutes to let everything that just happened sink in and I was barely aware of what I was doing.

"It's late. You can watch a movie tomorrow." I pointed out. "Do you want to sleep here again tonight?"

Chelsea seemed to think and finally nodded just as Niall got up too, his chair making an annoying noise.

"I'll put her to bed if you want."

Our daughter rushed to him and threw herself in his arms, making him laugh. I looked up and our eyes met. He sent me a fond smile and I felt my heart melt and my lips curl. I had so many questions that needed immediate answers, so many thoughts I wanted to share, and so many memories that rushed back to my brain.

"Yea, thank you."

He winked at me and I smiled more. I remained motionless, standing in the middle of the kitchen, a bit overwhelmed by everything that had happened in the past few days. I kept wondering if he meant what he had said a few minutes earlier and if he did, what exactly did it imply? In the end, I just shook my head. Niall loved me, that's what he said. And I loved him, I never stopped. There was nothing to process or comprehend. I let the truth flood my insides and swallowed hard as tears invaded my eyes. Even in my wildest dreams, I hadn't allowed my imagination to go that far.

[rqs902]

qcyn ep 10 aka an episode that really made me happy!! but also really made me miss season 1..........

OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG WU CHENGZE AND CHEN SIJIAN AND XU FANGZHOU OMGOMGOMG IM SO HAPPY FOR THEM!!!!!! OMGOMGOMG THAT BOTTOM ROW AHHHH I WAS SO SURE THAT CHENGZE WASNT GONNA MAKE IT BUT OMGOMOGMOG YESSS AND THANK GOODNESS SIJIAN OMGGGG YESSSHSHSHS AHHHHHH 

phew thank goodness lin mo made it tho, now i feel like there’s not much left for me to do cept wait for this show to end bc im pretty sure thats as far as he’ll get, and im so so relieved he made it to the top 20 thats all i was asking for, i just wanted him to be able to participate in every stage. so now im just excited for when he gets out what mr tyger will do!

man iqiyi really skipping even 14-19 man..... 

wowowowow long lost xixi spirit of the knght footage that we never got to see T__T

LOOOOL LONGHAN THE POOR CHILD HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA HIS INTERACTIONS WITH YIXING ARE GOLD

awwwww huaiwei’s feeble “are yall not gonna clap” was so sad... but also i was kinda expecting his fall with the 2 vote restriction bc huaiwei is hilariously fun and everyone likes him, but hes not as much bias material.... lol shi zhan awkwardly stuck between two crying people lol

HAHAHAHHA CHEN SIJIAN ‘why cant we just talk to each other’s face to face’ HAHHAHAHA I LOVE HIM 一點都不說唱 HAHAHHAAH

lol zhenning exposing shi mingze is the content im here for! mingming is the cutest bub omg 

LOL WTF IS THIS THIS EDITING IS SO EXTRA HAAHAH

wow a rare zhan yu teardrop mole sighting!!

lol how much u wanna bet it was rigged that the first one was for wenhan from yangyang

aw huaiwei and yueyue....... ok but is he really telling them that they shouldnt go to the hospital if they get third degree burns?? bc as a future healthcare professional im gonna to strongly disagree on that one........ please take care of yourselves and your health first.........

HAHAHHAA I LOVE XIXI AND JUNJIE’S FRIENDSHIP HAHAHAH the fact that sijian was like “lol its junjie” as soon as xixi got called out ....oh my goodness this is the sweetest thing oh my goodness 

aw zhenning being so caring towards wang zhe.... but luckily wang zhe did really well in maze :) 

i hope we get to see more of these letters in the extra clips.... im waiting for jia yi’s letter to lin mo ;_; i see that mr tyger group hug ahhh also was that lin mo that wenxuan was hugging at the end bc their friendship is really aw too

OH MY GOODNESS IS THAT SUN ZELIN IN A CF/?!?!?!! OMGGGGG MY CHILDDD HAHAHHAHAH OMGGGGG YESSSSS CHEN SIJIAN TOO!!!! WOWWOWOOW AMAZING!!

aw junjie looking for happy for his friends even tho he likely wont make it this round.....

aw shi mingze and zhenning aww look at zhenning rising to the top, he really became people’s one pick after retreat huh hahaha 

man this might sound kinda mean (im really not trying to be) but what are the chances jia yi will keep falling and fall out of top 9 so mr tyger can continue as 5.... LOL im sorry i love the child but tbh i dont think being in top 9 will be worth his time as much as being reunited with his favorite geges......

aw poor mingming so nervous.... reminds me of quanzhe from last season that one time iqiyi kept panning to him during elims....

i wonder why there’s a bunch of them missing from the special class / the charity activity this time..... are they all in the hospital again???? like lin mo, jia yi, wenhan.... would zhan yu be with them to watch over lin mo and jia yi? 

lol why does bo yuan know the maze choreo, did he learn it in like 30 seconds?? gu landi with his saxophone!!!!!!!!!!!

ok can we pls talk about how ymm is in such disbelief that he went up so much?? i really hope this helps him gain more confidence....... AND OMG HIS SMILEEE 

omg chen youwei bringing up yi xiao.... aw this just makes me think of when youwei kept chanting jin fan’s name during the first elims.... and now wang yi and li yuzhi are left watching from below..... omgosh wu chengze is crying so hard.... do you think its bc his bff sun zelin ranked beside him last time but this time..... he’s not gonna be able to continue with him? (omg im just thinking about how sun zelin talked about chengze high-fiving him and going out of his way to wish him good night every night before bed... their friendship is...... so important......) honestly im gonna miss sun zelin and his silly humor and his adorable personality... he recognized he wasnt as skilled but he still tried really hard and dreamed big and im proud of how far he made it! 

wait i have a question, if ymm has this many solo stans then who else were they voting for with their second vote if not wen yechen??? MINGMING’S SMILE IS THE MOST PRECIOUS OH MY GOODNESS omg cutting to a crying shi mingze their friendship is so important MINGMING YOU DESERVE THIS 

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA YAO MINGMING KEEPING IT REAL HAHAHHAHAHAA SO REAL IM CRYING HAHAHAHAHAHA BO YUAN’S FACE HAHAHA AND THEN YIXING HAHAHHA

wow waiting for them to announce who ranked #1 is just as suspenseful as it was on “all for one” -- aka not suspenseful at all........... ITS WENHAN OK WE GET IT NO ONE THINKS ITS GUAN YUE IM SORRY

lol i just looked up bo yuan’s birthday and hes like 9 months older than lin mo but now that hes eliminated does this make lin mo the oldest trainee on the show..... 

omgosh im gonna miss the sound of feng junjie’s voice screaming

omgosh zhan yu helping lin mo lift his box out aw!! aw zhan yu and jia yi working together.... aww them all working together

aw zhenning and shi zhan friendship!!!! LOL THIS IS SO CRINGE HAHAHHAHAHA wow i just realized the S symbol reminds me of a sadder looking yoyo class symbol from “all for one” lolololl 

ooo at least we’ll get another junjie ep of YAA!!!! and sun zelin too!!! SHI MINGZE YOYO POWERS/??!!? omg reminds me of bi wenjun ;_; i miss our yoyo prince ;_; omg they reused the puffy suits from last season LOOOLLLL wait but im sorry xixi i cant look at that colorful one without thinking of lou zibo ahhhhhhhhh I MISS ZIBO TOO and qian zhenghao in the tiny alien one omg that was such a iconic moment!!!!! and qin fen in the overblown monster one ahhhh I MISS SEASON ONE IM SORRY I FEEL LIKE ITS LATE ENOUGH IN THIS SEASON THAT I CAN SAY THIS WITHOUT FEELING LIKE IM BEING BIASED BUT SEASON ONE WAS BETTER ---- but i still love many of the kids from this season, its not their fault this season has just been generally more frustrating and less focused on all of their friendships. but season one just seemed generally more enjoyable, fun and lighthearted, yet emotional in a positive manner

LOL theyre all so obviously reading off a script this is pretty funny WHY IS HANYU SO CREEPY HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA 

FENG JUNJIE 28 NOOOOO ahhh i thought shi mingze would make it too........ man wang yi 38?? i thought he’d be higher.... man chen sijian’s literally the only rap line trainee left wtf............ wow wang jiayi really dropped so much throughout this show.... 

wait i wanna hear the full version of shi mingze’s speech, i feel like he mightve said more about his friendship with mingming... i guess now that i think about it, mingze having ranked rather high last time was rather impressive considering iqiyi hasnt given him much time to shine......

ooof ok im kinda hoping 20 will be gu landi or shao haofan bc their vocals really would’ve earned it. omgosh gu landi asking chen tao if he can sit next to him ahhhh so cute

im yao chi praying for gu landi... but i feel like its gonna be chen tao bc freaking wenhan’s “gwi ze” LOL

yep

not surprised

man the audience be sleeping on gu landi’s talent..... 

omg this is my new favorite friendship omg gu landi is so supportive towards yao chi im crying.... 

lol they keep saying the top 9 is 換血 but literally i feel like the only new person is zhenning...???? 

OH MYGGODNESS DID THEY JSUST CALL FENG JUNJIE IM SSHAKINGN!!! MASD;ALSKD;LAKSD;LK;LS;AKLDK YEASSSSSSSS!!!!!SKJSALDKJSALKYESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS THANK YOU THANK YOU THAKN YOU OH MY GOODNESSSSSSSSSSSSSSS IM SO PSODKALSKDJLAKJDSLK DSALKJSALASD IM IN DISBELIEFASLDKJALK IM LITERALLY CRYING SO HARDR IGHT NWOWWWW AHHHH OMGOMOGMG THIS IS THE BEST NEWS IVE HEARD ALL DAY OMGGGJGGGGGAHHHHHHHHH THNAK GOODNESS AHHHHHHH LAKJSDLAKSDLKL HE CAN STAY WITH XIXI TILL THE END THANK GOODNESS OH MY GOODNESS IM SHAKINGG 

hahhahahahhaha fjj: i didnt imagine i would be picked by the old men... yixing: i can tell :)  LOOOOL JUNJIE YOUR FACEE HHAHHAHAHAHA

wow today is a such good day wow feng junjie made it wow im so grateful wow this is a great day wow life is great isnt it 

ahhh im wu chengze chanting wu zelin sun zelin wu zelin sun zelin 

aw lin mo and wenxuan are really so close....

just dont say wenhan LOL

lol the old men really like zhou shiyuan so im not surprised... he does deserve it tho!

oo good for haofan! 

honestly they prob made sure the old men didnt pick yechen, zhan yu or bo yuan again... sadly..... but also sad they didnt notice gu landi....... omgosh look at zhan yu pumping his fists in the air even tho he knows its over... this is his “pretending to be mature gege” side, trying to appear positive for his bros... i wanna see lin mo and jia yi’s full thank you speeches and see if they mention his again T_T

WANG JIAYI TELLING HUAIWEI ITS OK TO NOT BE STRONG IS SO IMPORTANT. ahhh hes really a caring friend

oh gosh seeing the top 20 choosing their final songs makes me think back to last season and im getting freaking mack daddy flashbacks and im shuddering in fear LOL “ITS OKAY” WAS AND STILL IS THE SUPERIOR SONG IM SORRY ITS JUST A FACT

LOL THEY TEXT THEM!??! on the bright side, this just reminded me that top 35 will still get to be in ep 11 so yayyy we get another zhan yu stage!!!!!!

lol this earth ad is even more cringey.................. the ending credits.... i see lin yuzhi! and xixi got a cool shot :D im surprised lin mo didnt get any shots haha and that they didnt show mr tyger at all during the hugging portion at the end but oh well i guess..... 

tbh this was a minimal lin mo exposure ep but its ok, im still grateful that he got a few random closeups (which is more than i can say for some of the others) and now that hes safely in top 20 i honestly think my work here is done LOL. there’s not much more lin mo fans can do for him. theyve gotten him onto all the stages and i dont think any amount of work will get him into top 9... and ive said before i dont even really want him in top 9 bc id rather he stay with mr tyger and help them stay relevant bc theyll need his help to do so, especially since jia yi will probably make top 9. 

(from here is where i go into a rant about season 1 vs season 2.... LOL)

lets be honest, ranking 16 is too low for lin mo to make it lol....... last season the only kid who made top 9 who wasnt already in top 9 by ep 10 was yanjun... and yanjun had been on a steep upward trend leading up to the last ep (lin mo went from 17 to 16... theres minimal momentum there lol) and then bi wenjun going from 12 to 10 was the other surprise. xikan going from 18 to 13 was impressive, but he still wasnt one of the contenders for the 9th spot. i think at the end it was bu fan, qian zhenghao, bi wenjun and you zhangjing right? out of those 4, the lowest ranked in ep 10 was bi wenjun at 12..... so going from 16 up to 9 would be really really unlikely, unless lin mo somehow makes an even greater impression on the audience during the mentor collab stage than yanjun did last year.... which i think will be impossible bc literally the entire audience fell in love with yanjun during the “zero” performance in last season’s ep 11 lol it was crazyyyy.... but anyway i think ive reminisced about last season enough this rant.... can you tell i really miss it? honestly ive tried to stay as positive as i could throughout watching qcyn and i gave iqiyi the benefit of the doubt from the beginning that “oh maybe it just doesnt seem as great as the first season bc we havent gotten to know the kids yet, the show’s just started, we’ll learn to love it later” ---- but we’re on ep 10 now and i just.......... i still dont think i got to know the kids as well as i did last season and its not their fault, theyre not any less lovable kids (some of them i really like!!! more than some of the kids from last season!) but this season’s editing is really just disappointing. i really miss last season and it was honestly so much more enjoyable to watch..... i thought about this the other day, if lin mo had been eliminated during the last round, would i still be watching this show? and i thought about it and i honestly think i would... because i really like some of the other kids like mingming, junjie, xixi, jia yi, guan yue, chen sijian, etc. but i really dont think id be as eager to stay up to date with it. ive fallen behind on yaa and dont even look forward to watching fanafan anymore bc lin mo hasnt been on any of those (no, i dont count the yaa ep he literally only got 1 second of screentime in) these side shows are fun, but not as fun as fanafan from last season. they feature the same kids over and over again (literally yuehua trio was the ONLY kids on fanafan 2 weeks ago and then they were 1/3 of the ep last week too??? and hmm how come there are kids who have been on yaa multiple times yet there are also kids who have never been on it at all???? that’s just so unfair.....) without fanafan from last season, would you zhangjing have made it into top 9?? fanafan was the medium thru which he really showed us how hilarious and fun and lovable and sweet and sassy he was (whereas on the actual show he showed us his true, undeniable talent) and im just here wondering, if qcyn’s fanafan had featured ye ziming half as much as they had featured you zhangjing or his partner in crime yanjun (who both ended up making top 9), would he have at least made top 35? or how about chen sijian and wu zelin? or feng junjie?? or su yuhang?? where would they be now? why hasnt lin mo been on fanafan at all??? if given the chance, would people actually be appreciating zhan yu’s hilariously weird and crazy personality that we NEVER got to see?? sigh.......... 

OKAY WHERE ARE ALL THE EXTRA CLIPS IMMA FIND YALL